Become greater than the challenges

To become greater than the challenges is a titanic task when times become complex. Although it is a hard task, it is still possible and the best alternative for those who aspire to lead a happy and fruitful life.

The task of becoming greater than the challenges requires activating inventiveness, initiative and ingenuity, a trio of inner resources of extraordinary importance. How are they activated? Answering this question is the purpose of this article. But first we would like to introduce a distinction made by Simon Sinek: the difference between the battles (multiple) and the “war” (one) that are fought in the life of each one of us.

In life there coexist multiple battles, which are finite, and a “war”, which is infinite since it extends beyond earthly existence. We all die twice. The first, physical death. The second, the spiritual death that occurs when our memory is extinguished; when we are forgotten.  These two “lives” confer an infinite character to what we have called “war”.

Finite games (battles) are fought against known players. They have fixed rules. And there is an agreed goal that, when achieved, ends the game. For example, getting rich or becoming famous is a finite game. In finite games there is always a beginning, an intermediate part and an end.

On the other hand, infinite games (war) are games against often unknown players, and without exact or agreed rules; and with longer time horizons. As there is no finish line, and no practical end to the game, this type of game cannot be “won”. In the infinite game the main objective is to survive in the best conditions, i.e. to settle in the best personal version as long as possible, in order to win the key finite battles.

The smart thing to do is to focus on the war, even if it means losing some battles. Paradoxically, striving to win some battles may result in losing the war. Those battles are often linked to short-term gratifications. For example, you can win the battle of “having fun” and lose the war linked to the person you become. “Winning” the war entails choosing which battles it is crucial to win.

The coordinates of the best personal version are the hunger for self-improvement and contribution. It is this hunger that activates ingenuity, inventiveness and initiative; and makes it possible to win the important battles. These coordinates make it possible to enjoy happiness, not so much because of external circumstances but because of the person one becomes.

The “hunger” is fed by a “fuel” that is a positive emotional state, which at the same time is born of interpretative beliefs of reality that, if they are powerful, are known as wisdom.

The belief that makes possible the best personal version is wisdom, since it is a knowledge that gives flavor to life; knowledge to which society does not always give the importance it deserves. With insight, the great Russian novelist and perennial candidate for the Nobel Prize for literature and peace, Leo Tolstoy warned, “There are many kinds of knowledge, but the most important is about how to live, and this, almost always, is undervalued.”

Forging a happy and profitable life is no trivial task in turbulent times. There are many complex battles to be won.  In order for it to become a viable project, mental tools are needed to foster a dynamic that leads to the best personal version.

Some of the tools that can be useful for this purpose are the following:

1. Manage expectations.

The emotional state is a great awakener, the fuel of inner resources. Positive emotions of medium intensity predispose to learning, to service and, among other things, to optimism. The negative ones, on the other hand, to blockage, victimhood or aggressiveness.

The emotional state is largely a product of the harmony between the perceptions of reality and the expectations with which one operates. Both terms must be managed, since the hegemony of perceptions over expectations generates positive emotions, and the hegemony of expectations over perceptions generates negative emotions.

Expectations, therefore, exert a great influence on our happiness. Operating with sensible and realistic expectations favors positive emotions. To do this, it is important to have a purpose, a desire to be useful, to give meaning to difficulties and to love what we do.

Rolf Dobelli, author of “The Art of Clear Thinking” (2011), provides an interesting distinction and advice. The distinction: the difference between needs (I have to do it), wants (I want to have it) and expectations (I hope to have it). The advice: don’t turn wants and expectations into needs. The “consumerist” pressure points in just the opposite direction.

If desires and expectations become needs, the foreseeable result will be a mixture of frustration and negativity. This is exactly what prevents us from achieving our personal best and therefore victory in the “war”.

Managing expectations entails not falling into one of the “typical” traps of our brain: unconsciously claiming to “need” 40% more than what we have. Once again, if you fall into this trap, the consequences will not be positive.

Managing expectations means admitting that things do not always have to be the way we would like them to be, or in accordance with preconceived ideas with which we operate and whose origin is usually more emotional than rational.

The lack of alignment between perceptions and expectations generates suffering that can be avoided by looking at reality with “new” eyes, and modifying “the story that one tells oneself” about how the world should be. That story is the one behind expectations.

2. Manage the focus of the mind.

The focus of the mind is one of the three decisions that determine a good part of the person we become. The other two are the interpretation we choose to give to events and what we decide to do.

To manage the focus we propose some tips: better to put the focus on what you have and not on what you do not have; better in the present and not in the past; better in what you control and not in what you do not control; better to put the focus on what you have to do, and not on what others have to do.

Positive or negative events have no, little or great impact on the hunger for improvement and contribution. It all depends on the focus. Whatever is focused on is given energy, and therefore grows. Be it problems or happiness.

One last recommendation to manage the focus of the mind: more than 90% of the news, articles, advertising, posts or tweets, have no relevance to win the “war” of life. For this reason, our advice is to limit the attention paid to “consumerist” media: news, Instagram, Twitter, WhatsApp and the like. Better a good book (or video) and a good conversation than the mobile screen.

3. Prevention is better than cure.

The personal best version involves “infinity” of pulses between short-term and long-term gratification. These rewards are not always correlated; indeed, they are often negatively correlated. Some short-term gratifications have a crowding-out effect on future happiness. For example, being rich without working, seeking pleasure without conscience, using knowledge or trade without ethics, using power without principles, etc. All this gratifies in the short run, but usually ends badly.

The rational brain, properly used, should be the guardian of future happiness. How? By anticipating the consequences of decisions, learning from past mistakes, imitating good practices, incorporating the “wisdom” accumulated over the centuries, etc.

Why is the rational brain rarely used for this purpose?  The blame for the blatant tendency to self-sabotage future happiness lies with the “instinctive” force of short-term gratifications, even those that have a negative correlation with future happiness.

In the book “Think fast and slow”, Nobel Prize-winning economist Daniel Kahneman reminds us that most problems are easier to avoid than to solve. The best thing to do is to prevent and anticipate the consequences of decisions, and thus bet on a better personal version that is sustainable over time.

There is no doubt that luck plays a role in life and that not everything can be foreseen. But there are two kinds of luck. The first is random; the second is that which we attract to us when we do things right. This second one is called “good luck”.

Miguel Angel Ariño, an IESE professor, recommends two approaches to anticipating problems: “pre-mortem” and “post-mortem” analysis. The former analyzes the reasons why the initiative might fail. Why might it not work? This makes it necessary to anticipate the risk. In the “post mortem” analysis, one must bring out the thinking and research typical of a “black box” Why did the project go wrong?

To better understand the importance of anticipation, we propose an example cited by the author Rolf Dobelli. It is a choice between two movies. In A, a ship collides with an iceberg and sinks. In an exemplary manner, the captain saves all the passengers from death and abandons the ship at the end. In B, the captain circumnavigates the iceberg with considerable distance. Which movie would you watch at the cinema? A. But which situation would you prefer as a passenger on the ship? B. What would happen next? Captain A would be invited on TV, have multiple interviews and become a celebrity. Captain B would continue to dodge obstacles at sea for many more years until retirement, and without any notoriety.

Although B has proven to be the best captain, it is A who receives the “social” rewards. This is a dysfunctionality of the society that “punishes” in relative terms the functional behaviors, since most of the successes harvested by prevention are invisible and therefore do not receive positive reinforcements that reaffirm them.

To win the infinite game one must be a type B captain, an invisible hero, an investor in future gratification. “Winning” the war entails the epic of doing ordinary things in an extraordinary way.

4. Invest in personal talent.

The most valuable asset to meet the challenges of turbulent times is the personal talent you accumulate. Talent always wins. Talent includes not only knowledge and skills but above all attitudes and belief systems. Improving it is an investment in the future. But there is no talent improvement without pain.

Talent has to be configured in the shape of a T. With a vertical dimension that allows one to be an expert in some subjects, and a horizontal dimension that generates humanistic thinking capable of connecting and integrating diverse knowledge.

The 10,000-hour rule, popularized by Malcolm Gladwell, says that if you practice a skill for that long you will be an expert. Subsequent research puts some caveats to that rule, as it does not apply to all skills. In any case, the reward for that effort? In many cases a talent capable of providing differential solutions and solving complex problems quickly.

The best personal version is based on good decisions: focus, interpretation and what you do. One of the important decisions is the vertical dimension of talent. Deciding early on what you want to be an expert in allows you to create a feedback between mastery, enjoyment of your work and external recognition.

In a digitalized world, external recognition can become global. Complementing the vertical dimension with good horizontal talent ensures victory in life’s most important battles.

Final thoughts.

Forging a happy and profitable life, we said, is not an easy task.  It is the war that must be won. We hope that the tools provided will make this project possible.

Most of our lives are lived inside our minds. That is why we see things not so much as they are, but rather as we are. Making the mind a pleasant place to live is a requirement to win the war, the infinite game, in our life. Memory and imagination can become our best allies in winning the war if we use them to learn and envision.

The noblest role of our talent is to promote and become the guardian of future happiness. Happiness that, as we live interconnected, is also conditioned by the proper functioning of the ecosystems we inhabit. Talent, therefore, must be placed at the service of others and the improvement of relations between them.

We must not forget that we are free to decide, but not to choose the consequences of our decisions.