How to Build a Dream
How do we know if our dream is attainable and how can we be realistic in pursuing that dream?
There are no truly “objective” probabilities of achieving a goal. The human spirit is the differentiator when it comes to calculating odds.
The probability of us reaching our goals skyrockets when we have an intense desire and strong motives, when we know how to surround ourselves with good “accomplices” to support our efforts, when we have the necessary knowledge and are steadfast in our pursuit.
I think it’s important to fully adopt the mindset that there are no impossible goals, just inadequate deadlines.
How are reward systems activated?
There are a couple different ways and few hormones behind it: dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, endorphins, etc.
The first one is everything that gives us immediate pleasure; the second is about anticipating the positive consequences for ourselves, or for others, that result from long-term action.
The latter is what uses the power of reason; the former is more grounded in the midbrain and emotions.
Reason, when fed with the best human wisdom, is a great source of gratification for those behaviors that also promise a better future for oneself and for society. This mechanism is based on what has historically been called conscience. Our conscience is the best gift that nature has given us to live a full life.
When our conscience is stilled or weakened, we are prone to short-term gratification. Many short-term gratifications have negative medium-term consequences, effectively stealing happiness from the future. Our conscience is what should be in charge of separating the wheat from the chaff; short-term gratifications with positive medium-term consequences for the opposite.
There are many examples of short-term gratifications that are “wheat” (with positive consequences also in the long term): sleep for 7-9 hours, celebrate an achievement, eat healthy, be kind and communicate positively, give a hug, be generous and actively listen, exercise, get some sun and enjoy nature, group activities (singing, dancing, smiling in a group), meditate, paint, listen to music, etc.
How can we shield ourselves from what gets in the way of building our dreams?
What gets in the way are self-limiting beliefs and misguided feeding of our desires for security and control; uniqueness and dominance; novelty and fun; connection and acceptance.
Ultimately, anything that fills our head and heart with cognitive and emotional “garbage” prevents us from showcasing our personal power and soaring higher.
How can we learn to focus on what we have and believe despite what others see or think?
We need to have a healthy independence from what others think before we can build interdependent relationships, which are the ones that bring the most added value. Psychological well-being comes from focusing on what we have and can do—not on what we lack or what others should do for us.
